Transitions

Things are a-changin' around here.

I can't say that these changes aren't coming without some emotional highs and lows. 

Typical to our sweet daughter's true self, the close of her Kindergarten year has caused her to be on a bit of an emotional roller coaster. 

What that translates into is lots of ambivalence from our girl.  On the one hand, she has been excited for summer break, and all the fun trips and camps and play dates that are on the horizon.  Yet on the other hand, she has expressed on many occasions-- leading up to that last day of school-- how she doesn't want to leave her teacher, or be in first grade;  how she will miss her teachers and her classmates. She has been more clingy to me and Brian.  She has shown regressive behaviors at bedtime, crying and asking us to not leave. There have been many tears shed over discussions about these pending changes.

During one of those conversations, she said it best....

I asked her the night before her last day:  "How are you feeling about tomorrow being your last day honey?"

Her immediate reply:  "excited!" which then quickly changed to "sad," coupled with "I am going to miss Mrs Hohman"  (her wonderful teacher).  Followed by tears.

Ambivalence.... in all its glory.

I know what is being triggered for her.   I know that transitions and losses are always going to be a bit harder for her.   I know that when I see her crying when I pick her up on the last day, while all her other classmates are screaming with excitement and shouting "yeah, summer break!" , that these transitional moments will always be a bit different, and harder for her.

Her history brings complications.

And oh how it breaks my heart.  

She has also been grappling with her cousin Lindsay's graduation from high school.  While being around Lindsay a lot lately --with all the celebratory events-- has brought Lucy much joy, she has also expressed sadness and worry about not being able to see Lindsay as much "since she will be away at college."

It is one of the many things that I love so much about Lucy:  her big, loving, sensitive heart.   She feels deeply. 

I know I can't protect her from these difficult feelings.  I can only be with her through them, and listen and love.  And trust that as she grows and learns, she will better be able to cope. 

Our dear childhood friend, Angie, with my sister.

and Angie's sweet daughter, Addison.

As we all transition into these new chapters in our lives, I can't help but meditate on the message that Lindsay's high school graduation speaker gave.

I never had the good fortune of knowing Mr. Lustig, but for 45 years of his life--as a Math teacher---he has touched many kids' lives.   And since he was nominated by Lindsay's class to be their commencement speaker, I would say he has a bit of credibility. 

These are just some of the highlights of his speech :

Live your life with an attitude of gratitude.

Forgive.

Serve others.

Because you are blessed, give.

Say YES to God.

There were so many inspirational parts of Mr. Lustig's speech  (did I mention the moving tribute to his wife of some 40+ years?  or the song he wrote and serenaded to the seniors?).

I have only shared a few of the parts that resonated with me.

I find peace in what he said.   Because even in these difficult times of transition, I know that if I keep his message in mind.....

And teach these things to Lucy.....

 All shall be well.

Congratulations to Lindsay and Lucy!   I love you girls! 

Thanking God for Grandpa's.....

There are those things in life that occur that I will observe, and it just naturally occurs for me to stop and thank God.  

Things like my sleeping, peaceful child...

or my healthy, hard-working husband....

or our backyard abuzz with friends from the woods.....

And then, there are things that maybe don't occur so often, but you just know when they are happening, it is one of those moments to stop.....

appreciate.....

savor......

and thank God for. 

Things like Grandparents' Day at Lucy's school.

I am not sure if it was because it was their first official Grandparents' Day together.

Or if it was because the last time a grandparent went to school with Lucy was Brian's mom, right before she got sick. 

Or if it was because I knew deep in my soul how much my Mom would have loved being a part of this day.

Or if it was because my Dad is Lucy's only living grandparent.

But the day did not come without lots of emotion for me.

My dad was such a trooper, driving from Indy to spend this special time with his granddaughter. 

And he was so in his element, being in church and singing and worshiping with Lucy and her school mates. 

It warmed my heart to see these kids singing special songs for their grandparents, and letting them know how much they are loved and appreciated.

I feel such gratitude for my dad. 

Not only because I treasure him so much, but also because of the efforts he put in to make this day happen, and to be so memorable for Lucy (and me). 

Thank you Dad.  We love you!

These Girls......

 

I don't know if she remembers, but I do........

When we began the process to bring Lucy home, my niece Lindsay was only eight years old. 

I remember Lindsay's reaction when we first told her about our plans to adopt---so much anticipation and excitement to meet her new baby cousin.  It truly was contagious how enthusiastic and eager she was. 

As some of you  who have followed this blog from the beginning know, it took over four years to bring our sweet girl home.  Those were four long years for Lindsay, just a nine/ten/eleven year old at the time.  I remember her asking during that time: "When will Lucy be home?"  "I don't understand what is taking so long."  And the one that resonates the most:  "Am I going to be, like, twelve by the time I get to finally meet her? "  Little did she know when she spoke those words--  but she had predicted it exactly right.   It would be what was essentially half her lifetime before the long awaited meeting would take place.

What I can tell you is that Lindsay has always felt deeply when it comes to anything regarding Lucy. It is something I have cherished about her ever since she was a little girl:  her sensitive and genuine heart.  Before she even knew Lucy, her excitement and love were real.

By the time Lindsay reached that long awaited age of twelve, she had lots of love stored up to shower on Lucy. And I will be the first to testify, that love has only grown and deepened over the years.

It has truly been a joy to watch.

This cousin thing is truly quite special.

Some of that love was on display last weekend when Lindsay came to visit.

We went to SkyZone, an indoor trampoline park.   The girls had a blast.......

facing each other--- 

and counting---

and jumping---

How great is it when an 18 year old can have just as much fun with a six year old as she does with her own peer group?  (or so it seems!) 

Jumping into the pit!

Can I tell you how much I love and appreciate this young lady?   She has been the most amazing cousin to Lucy.   And if you only knew how much Lucy loves her.

High-Fiving it!

And can I tell you how proud I am of Lindsay?   She has had the most amazing high school career, so much so that she has received a full ride scholarship to the school of her choice in Indiana!  

What an amazing role model she is for my daughter.

We did our own "senior pictures"/photo shoot while Lindsay was here.  I admit to getting a bit sentimental these days, but this sweet niece of mine is getting ready to head off to college! 

The one below might be my favorite.  

Entitled:  "Duh?"

You can see it in Lucy's face, just how much she adores her big cousin.....

On a side note, Lindsay is my go-to person for all things teen.  She gives me the latest in lingo, and all the proper ways to pose for selfies.   Here was the pose of the weekend, that Lindsay (of course) directed:

Bet you never knew that someone could play guitar with gloves on?

The stare out to the sky----all Lindsay's idea.   And I have to hand it to her, this will be the go-to pic whenever I need a good laugh.  Rumor has it that the one below is now the screen saver on Lindsay's phone....I am sure Brian will be thrilled. 

He is a good sport, though, isn't he?  All he was trying to do was a little yard work....

Lindsay Lou-  Thank you  for being the caring, sensitive, loving niece that you are.  And thank you for being such a wonderful big cousin. 

You are the closest Lucy will probably ever get to a sister. What a treasure. 

How grateful I am for you.

I love you so, girrrl.

P.S. Stay strong