Saturday, April 9, 2016

Answering Questions; Instilling Faith

With Spring and Easter, come the themes of change and new life.  It is interesting for me to reflect on these ideas, particularly when it comes to Lucy.   Our girl has had so many changes in her little life, and some of them not so easy.  Of course the biggest one that comes to mind is how we became a family, through the blessing of adoption.  For Brian and I, this is the greatest gift - a gift not wrought with loss or confusion.  For Lucy, it is not quite that clear.  I have often wondered  if Lucy may have questions about it, or when she may try to piece the puzzle together of her history.   I didn't think it would happen quite as early as it has, but alas, her curious and confused class mates have stirred up many questions for Lucy about her past.

My primary goal in trying to help her through this beginning chapter of grief and confusion, is simply to love her, and give her permission to talk whenever and however she wants.   I console.  I listen.  I hug.  But often, I can't answer.  I don't have the information she longs to hear. The whys.  And the wheres. And the what if's. I can't reassure her that she will someday see her birth parents again.  The depths of her sorrow, and the true loss that she feels, is palpable.  There have been lots of tears shed, as we all begin to feel at a greater level the depths of her sadness.

But here is where I get back to the theme of new life and hope, as this isn't meant to be a sad blog story. For me, there is such clarity and strength through God.   I honestly don't know how I would have been able to help Lucy out with any of this up to this point, if it weren't for the faith I have. Many of my go-to responses for Lucy, when trying to provide her some peace or clarity, are:  "Lets try to trust God, honey."  "Let's pray about this, Lucy and believe God will take care of things." I am so incredibly grateful for my faith, and all that it has brought to my life.  Without it, I am not sure where I would be, or how I would be able to help Lucy with all of this.  My greatest hope is that I can instill in her the gift of this faith, so that she can eventually feel at peace with her life's story.

I suggested journaling;  she has taken it right up!
Of course, Easter brings all kinds of traditions, which bring comfort and joy.... like coloring eggs! 

And making trips home to Indy to be with our fantastic family... who give us bunny ears!

And seeing Lindsay for the first time since her studies abroad in China.  She brought all kinds of fantastic treats for Lucy, who couldn't have been more excited!

How cute are these pj's?   
They are too darn adorable to only be warn to bed!

And what about this so sweet qui pao?  

Maybe some remember 
the red one Lucy wore in the first days we were all together in China. 

My how our girl has grown.

How much do these cousins love each other? 
(Notice the matching necklaces Lindsay got her and Lucy in China.)

Egg hunt at Aunt Lisa's house!

Girlfriend was on a mission!

Easter morning, with her new Beanie Boo:  Orchid. 
(If you don't know what a Beanie Boo is, just go ask a first grader.)
Lucy is the best mama to all her stuffed animals. She is so naturally nurturing.  

We were blessed with such fantastic weather on Easter Sunday.
 Going to the park together was a real treat!

And if all the family time in Indy weren't enough,
 Aunt Bridgey came to see us this past week.   

Lucy gets tired of being in all the she confiscated my camera and got a few of all of us!

We will continue to forge forward with all the questions and confusion that Lucy feels. We will love her. And answer her when we can.  But with the birth of spring and new life, and the comfort of family and traditions, we are filled with hope that all things are possible through HIM.