Friday, February 24, 2012

one year

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,
for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness."
James 1: 2-3

Words elude me.  Today marks the last of the firsts, and something I have wondered about…how it would feel.  The answer is not surprising:   sad, as her physical presence is getting further away.  I still want to hold onto it;  I worry that I will forget it.  There is the realization that today isn’t really the last of anything, but only the first of the seconds…and that things will always be delineated in this way now: the then and the now, the before and the after.  One year having passed really doesn’t change anything, or seem to provide any end.  Not that I thought it would. She is still missed terribly, and no matter how much time passes, I can’t see how this will ever change.

One of the many blessings this blog has given me is a continued connection and correspondence with my Mom’s friends.   Recently, this is what one of them sent to me (thank you, Sue), knowing the anniversary of her death was approaching.  She thought it would help, and on this day when there are really no words, it does.

You can shed tears that she is gone,
Or you can smile because she lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back.
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
Or you can be full of the love that she shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live for yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she is gone,
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what she would want…

Smile, open your eyes, love, and go on.

And so we do.

With her lasting memory deep within our hearts, every minute of every day.  

Thankfully, in this, there is peace.

This is a portrait of my Mom that was sewn (yes…sewn) by my good friend, Dave (thank you). It sits on a shelf in my kitchen.  Every night at dusk the flame-less candle (that my Mom gave me) comes on, illuminating her spirit… and replenishing mine. 

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Food.... and Exercise.

As we go through this last stretch of winter, it is hard to not get bogged down in the monotony of being inside.  We find ourselves looking out the window, yearning for those first signs of spring.  Weekly play dates and music class help, but sometimes you just have to get a little creative with how to pass the time.   Here are a few ways we have been accomplishing that:

 Making pretzels...

Lucy loved this activity.   

For any of you Auntie Ann lovers, these were from a kit I bought at the grocery store.  They tasted surprisingly close to what you buy at their stores.


This isn't just any PB &J. It had the last of my Mom's homemade jelly on it. 

Poor Lucy, having to indulge me with all these symbolic rituals. 

But I couldn't help it, and she enjoyed the sandwich.

When it is too cold outside, how do you get your child some exercise?

Yes, that is Lucy.  And yes, she is running on the treadmill.  And no, this was not my idea.   Only a father could come up with this.

She ran a third of a mile, at a #2 incline (Bri just had to make note of this)...and was still smiling at the end!

Not that I am recommending this, but she did sleep like a baby that night....hmmm, maybe he is on to something.

Hope you are all finding productive ways to pass the time!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Funny Friday!

Lucy has been full of funny comments lately.  Probably most kids go through the phase of calling their parents by their first names, since this is what they hear in the household on a daily basis.  But here is what I was greeted to upon coming home from the gym yesterday morning:

“Hi Karen” followed by “how was your workout?” 

But I think this is a funnier story….

We went to visit our neighbor this week; he is in a rehab facility after getting a total knee replacement.  When we got there, he was in bed and his knee was exposed, so we could see the huge incision with all the stitches.   I don’t think Lucy really knew what to make of it…well, I know she didn’t, as you’ll hear in a minute.

Later in the week we were saying prayers;  we always give Lucy time to pray for whatever is on her mind.  This is what she said in regards to our neighbor:  “Pray for Albert.  That he gets a shower, and gets that paint off.” Clearly that incision, and all those stitches... were paint!

Since we were praying, Brian and I tried to keep it together...

We weren’t very successful! 

Happy Friday!