Those Darn Doldrums...

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning."
Lamentations 3:22-23

Sunrise, coming home from the gym.

They somehow managed to sneak up on me this year:  the winter doldrums.  That time when the spirit and joy of the holidays is over, yet there is no real sign of spring (although we have unseasonably warm weather today:  65...but back to 20 tomorrow).  It doesn't seem as easy to just be during this time: confined to the house, looking for ways to entertain a certain 4 year old. Fortunately, we have figured out some ways to pass the time, thanks to friends and a bit of creativity.

Making Auntie Anne pretzels with our friend Abby:

They had so much fun!

The pretzels were deeelish!

Our friend Ryan came over.  Lucy just loves him!

Braving the cold at the park...

You gotta get some fresh air some how!

Having a hot chocolate party with Lucy's "friends"...

We got out the fine china...

and one of Lucy's favorite "friends" (from Aunt Lisa).

Lucy tired of me taking all the pix..she asked to take some!

We used some of my Mom's favorite pieces of china too.

Cheers!

How are you passing the time during these long, winter days?

Do fruit flies taste like fruit?

The task of being a mama-- and all that comes with it-- can sometimes be a daunting task.   There is so much that constantly passes through the mind, so much to question and wonder about.  And often, there is no definitive answer.  Sometimes the questions are menial and have no real consequence one way or another… such as the 5 minute conversation Lucy and I had recently about whether or not fruit flies taste like fruit.

 

Other times, there are questions I can’t help but wonder –and even worry about.  Like when Lucy and I were playing school recently, her: the teacher, and I: student Lucy.   And she (the teacher) told me (Lucy) that my Mama wasn’t coming back for me.  She even went into detail of how I (student Lucy) would have to stay with the teachers since my mom wasn’t coming back for me.  Got that? Well, the gist of it:  an expression from my girl about the thoughts that may-- or may not-- be swirling around inside her mind:  “will Mama come back for me?”  Of course on many levels, this tugs at my heart.   And then the mind drifts:

does this mean anything, or just a 4 year old playing?  is this her sub-conscious mind, recalling the days of being 11 months old when she was taken away from the entire world that she knew?  an expression of a lack of security that her parents will come back for her? am I-- a person who has a tendency to overanalyze-- overanalyzing?

I don’t really have answers to any of this.  Maybe it is a concern that many 4 year olds express. Maybe it is just Lucy playing, no hidden meanings.  Or maybe, Lucy needs a little extra support, to feel secure in her place here in our lives. 

What I do know—definitively-- is this:  all I can do is embrace the uncertainties, keep working on treasuring every moment, be mindful of what Lucy needs, and do my best to respond in ways that will be helpful to her.    In thinking about it…good goals for any relationship.

 

And maybe fruit flies really do taste like fruit...

  

Welcome, 2013.

With the new year, comes reflection…

On this past year, and what was good…

and not so good.

On this upcoming year, and what goals we want to strive towards…

and what habits we want to break.

As I reflect on the recent past, 

I feel immense gratitude for all the joy I have received from being surrounded by family and friends.

Christmas in NY with The Barnes family:

Celebrating Lucy's 4th Birthday...

Brian's mom was so sweet as to make Lucy 2 birthday cakes:  a ladybug...

and Hello Kitty.  So fun!

Cousin Kathleen modeling one of Lucy's new hats.

 Ice Skating...

Lucy's first time...

She had a bit of trouble standing up...imagine that!

Maybe it was the size 8 skate (the smallest they had. Lucy wears a 5)!

She was cold...

but had a great, first experience!  Thanks for taking her Uncle Timmy!

 Christmas Eve...

Lucy's goofy cousins...

and Aunt Bridget and Joe.

Lots of gift giving and opening!

The Barnes crew.

 

 

Chrismas Morning...

 

Lucy loved playing with Chewy, Aunt Bridget's new kitty.

Back home, Celebrating Lucy's 4th Birthday... 

My friend, Molly, and her sweet kids, wanted to take Lucy to Build a Bear for her birthday.

They had a great time!

Birthday morn...her  favorite gifts:   her ($2) butterfly wings and  ($5) harmonica!

My family came to celebrate with Lucy.

One of my favorite pix...how pretty are these girls?

Lucy's BFF -Abby- came  for cake and ice cream.

Happy Birthday to you, dear Lucy.

 New Year's Eve...

My college friends Molly and Johanna, and their families, came to celebrate.

One of the most memorable NY eves in memory...

Dance Party USA on the Wii...

sooooo much fun!!

Sleepy Lucy...she stayed up until almost 11 for the dance party!

At the strike of 12, yes.. we got the pots and pans and marched thru the neighborhood.

(I am sure my new neighbors love me.)

With 2012- and all its memories- behind me,  I now reflect on 2013, and what do I hope for this next year? Many thoughts come to mind..

But one thing I have decided is this.... I am going to try to slow down a little.  In other words,  try to be more content in the moment. Be present.  Be patient.  I realize that I am always rushing, always thinking about what else or what more….for what?  I recently heard that patience is a sign of wisdom. Why not just slow down, and be mindful in the moment?

I found this quote on a blog I follow that sums it up well:

No one longs for what he or she already has,
 and yet the accumulated insight of those wise about the spiritual life,

suggest that the reason so many of us cannot see the red X that marks the spot

is because we are standing on it.

The treasure we seek requires no lengthy expedition, no expensive equipment,

no superior aptitude or special company.

All we lack is the willingness to imagine that we already have everything we need.

The only thing missing is our consent to be where we are.”

~Barbara Brown Taylor

What are your plans for 2013? 

Whatever they may be, I wish you great success.