In the past, when Lucy and I would be out and about during our day, it was not uncommon to involve my Mom in some way on our outing. Maybe through a text, or a phone call, or a picture message… My Mom once told me how she loved knowing what activities Lucy was involved in throughout the day; I think it helped her to feel like she was with us. I know that is how I felt, and I loved doing it. So recently, when Spring surfaced for a few days, I knew it was going to be emotional to take Lucy outside to play for the first time since my Mom died. The typical call or text or picture message to her was not possible.
But then, another grace….
As soon as we walked out onto the driveway, there she was… a red ladybug. How we saw it, I don’t know. Some of you may remember from my post in October of 2009 that there is a special connection between ladybugs and Chinese adoption. Within the past few years, ladybugs have held a unique place in my heart. So here Lucy and I were, just outside, huddled around our ladybug friend, talking to her, letting her crawl on our hands, watching her drop to the driveway and curl up to “go to sleep.” Lucy’s reaction to our red friend was priceless. Eventually, she flew away. We looked and looked for more ladybugs- no luck. We even looked in the days to follow….no ladybugs.
How odd that there was this little ladybug waiting for us as soon as we ventured out on our first outing without my Mom. I soon came to realize what had happened; this creature helped me get through yet another “first” without my Mom. She made Lucy and I laugh and enjoy a special moment. It became crystal clear to me-- this was my Mom, in some special way, letting me know she was still right there with us. How short-sighted of me to think otherwise. Consistent with how things have been going lately, my Mom gave me a reminder of her presence when my earthly limitations clouded this reality.
Two days later, Brian checked his phone messages. (Anyone who knows Brian understands why it would take him 2 days to check voice mail). He asked, “Did you and Lucy send me a message about ladybugs?” I immediately felt this welling up of emotion, wondering what in the world he was talking about. It seems that somehow, with my cell phone in my pocket, among the 70+ contacts that I have, my phone dialed Brian’s # (no… I don’t have him on speed dial) and the entire priceless, three minute conversation between Lucy, the ladybug and I was all on his voice mail. I could barely believe it. I have listened to this message countless times, and still can’t believe it is all there. What a blessing; for not only do I have the memory of this experience, I also have it to listen to whenever I want- just Lucy, myself, the ladybug... and my Mom, enjoying a beautiful Spring day.
God’s graces are so good.
|Lucy helping with her first batch of Easter Bread.|
|Grammy would be so proud...|